4 Lessons from 2019
/Best Year Ever.
That’s not how I will ever describe 2019. In fact, despite my efforts, 2019 was one of the hardest years in recent memory. Yeah, it was that hard.
There were huge changes in my in-person personal training business. And then there were changes again. In fact, I ended up training in not one, not two, but FIVE gyms in 2019. Yes, that’s ridiculous. And then I found out that the gym I was in wasn’t stable. Again.
I was working more hours, driving longer distances, and my income had significantly decreased. I felt defeated.
We were still in the middle of a house rehab at the start of the year, and I was cooking in the basement on a single burner and with my crockpot until September.
And on top of all that, stress literally causes me to hold onto body fat (we’ll be talking about that in a future blog), which isn’t a great look for a personal trainer. Don’t get me wrong, one of the things I love about my training business is how real I am, but when I’m struggling with my own body fat issues, it’s more challenging than normal to help my clients.
But there were good things too.
The house started to come together, and almost immediately my body fat started going down (remember how I mentioned that stress can do that? It’s a very real thing).
As the house was finally coming together, we decided that we were ready to start thinking about adding to our family, and found out that we would be… in April of 2020!
The stress, overwork, additional hours, and frustration of partnering with the companies I had been finally pushed me to make a decision to completely “move out” on my own.
And I finally starting hiring the help I’ve been needing for years to help grow my business.
It’s been a big year. And I’ve learned a lot.
I’ve learned that I need to practice what I preach. Always, not just some of the time.
I tell my clients to take care of themselves. To not feel guilt for needing to rest. To practice self-care so that they don’t over-give of themselves and burnout. And yet, in 2019, I did the opposite. I worked myself sick and exhausted. I had more sick days in November and December 2019 than I had in the last four years. And if that isn’t saying something, I don’t know what is.
I learned that I need to get out of my comfort zone more often.
I’d been saying for over a year that I was reaching a tipping point in my business. That I needed help, and I couldn’t do it all. I’d joked with my business accountability partner about how badly I needed a virtual assistant more times than I can count. But it wasn’t until after Amy Porterfield’s Entrepreneur Experience that I committed to actually getting that help. I started “small,” but even small steps add up. I hired Tashvock Design Collective to help me get this website more functional and up to date. They’ll be doing it in baby steps for me, but don’t be surprised if you start seeing some exciting changes around here over the next couple months.
Is it scary for me to put part of my business in someone else’s hands? Yes. Is it daunting for me to commit to paying someone regularly to do things that I could, “figure out on my own.” Absolutely.
However, growth is scary. But it’s by getting out of our comfort zones that we can start that growth. (Insert some deep philosophical insight about caterpillars and butterflies here)
I learned that I need to make difficult decisions quicker.
I decided to completely break away on my own. For the last five years I’ve been contracting with a training company. While they were a great starting point for my training career, with the changes that they were going through this past year my business and their business were no longer growing in the same direction. While I started to make that realization earlier this year, it wasn’t until I was working myself into burnout that I made the decision to end that relationship. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, as I have so much respect for many of the people in the organization. However, even as a contractor with that company I still owned and ran my business, The FRICKin Good Life. I just had to do things under their umbrellas and within their parameters. And unfortunately, we weren’t growing in the same direction. And there is nothing wrong with that. I see exciting things happening here at The FRICKin Good Life over the next couple years. But to make those things happen, I had to make a hard decision. And I should have made it sooner. Yes, hindsight is 20/20, but it’s also a learning experience.
I leaned that I have to protect my boundaries.
I know, this one sounds like a cop-out. And in fact, I feel like this is a lesson I’ve learned over and over many times since my childhood. But there was something about this year that made it sink in a bit more than it has before.
Maybe it was the burnout. Maybe it was the therapy. Or maybe it’s the baby that’s forcing me to slow down because I can’t physically push myself the way I have been able to before. But the last two weeks of 2019 has really caused me to reflect on the fact that I have not “fixed” my people-pleasing ways. I’ve always joked that I’m a recovering people-pleaser, but I guess I had forgotten that to continue the recovery process, I have to continue to do the work.
2020 will see me setting more specific work hours. And while I realize that means I won’t be able to work with everyone I’d like to in-person, I will be able to be at my best with each and every client. I’ll open up more virtual training and coaching hours, but limit my in-person hours to what is manageable with the energy level I have now.
I’m sharing these lessons with you for a couple reasons.
First, I hope you take some time to reflect over the past year or decade and put in writing some of the things you’ve learned. There’s something magical about seeing it in black and white that helps the lessons sink in.
Second, by seeing some of my reflections and things I’ve learned, I hope you remember to be gentle with yourself. Yes, there are things we “know” we should do or should know, but that doesn’t mean we immediately embody those things. Some lessons take more time to become part of us. And that’s okay, Give yourself grace as you continue to learn and grow.
It’s a New Year. And 2020 is going to be great, can’t you just feel it? I can.
I know there’s been a lot of change, transition, and general upheaval for more than just me this past year. But if there’s one thing I know, there’s always a lot of frustration right before awesome things start happening. I’ve heard stories of difficulties before success so many times and so many ways, that I just have to believe it’s part of the growing process.
Call it what you will, but one of the speakers I heard at my conference this year said she believed the difficulties we go through before big change is God getting us ready for all the big things to come, and how can you argue with that?
So here’s to learning from the past year(s), and here’s to a fabulous New Year to come.
Happy New Year!
