Starting Over

Does the idea of “starting over” make you want to quit before you even begin? I get it. I’ve been there. I am there.

I’ve definitely had my shares of physical (and fitness) ups and downs. In fact, for the first almost 30 years of my life I was on a health roller-coaster. I would make progress over and over again only to backslide every time, often to a worse situation than I was in before I “started” (again).

Then, I’d wallow in self-pity and despair wondering “what the heck happened?”

It was only years (YEARS!) and several fitness and health certifications later that I can look back on those ups and downs and realize where I may have gotten things wrong.

The things is, I didn’t know what I was doing. And as crazy as it is, I didn’t know where to look for help because when I did ask for help, I wasn’t getting answers.

A conversation with a doctor when I was in college sticks out in my mind. I felt nervous and vulnerable asking for help with my weight, but I knew I needed it. The doctor asked me what I had for breakfast that morning. I was home on break and I had eaten a bowl of Cheerios.

The doctor told me the Cheerios were the problem, and then moved on to another conversation. The Cheerios?!? I hadn’t had a bowl of Cheerios in YEARS before that morning. Not only that, but I didn’t sprinkle sugar on it like we did when we were little (bless us), so what was my problem? Because it obviously wasn’t Cheerios.

I was lost. I was confused. I’d slid past square one. I was in the negative squares.

It wasn’t until several years later when I discovered my passion for wellness, not just fitness, that I finally found myself with more ups than downs.

I never considered myself an athlete, I had to find ways to move my body (read: workout) that I actually enjoyed. I fell in love with TurboKick, PiYo, dancing, and eventually weight lifting. I even discovered that I enjoy going on long walks… by myself. I realized how much BETTER I felt when I was doing those things on the regular.

But that doesn’t mean there haven’t been downs. I’m still learning. I’m still a work in progress. After all, I’m human too. Now as a fitness and wellness professional, it can be hard to admit when I’m starting over. In fact, it feels downright embarrassing.

But here I am.

After my first pregnancy, I never quite got as strong as I was before I got pregnant. Between the pandemic and mom-life, it wasn’t a priority. Until it was. And then I was embarrassed at how far I’d “slipped.” I pushed myself hard, and I started to visibly get “back into shape.”

But here’s the thing. I’d started off doing the right thing, but I moved ahead too quickly. It sucks feeling like you’re at square one when you’ve been at square 11. So I jumped a few spaces.

And by jumping a few spaces I unintentionally compromised my progress between pregnancies. So I wasn’t as strong going into pregnancy number 2. Which means, I wasn’t as strong coming out. Which leads me to today.

Thirteen weeks in and I’m just out of the 4th trimester. And I’m taking it slow. Sure, I was cleared to “workout” after 7 weeks, but I wasn’t physically ready. I was exhausted. Taking care of a newborn and a three-year old on 4 to 5 hours of sleep each night is… well, I don’t have to tell you. Naps weren’t happening, and the idea of working out made me cringe.

So I didn’t. Work out, that is.

Instead I walked when I could. I stretched when possible, and I started some gentle core recovery. Eventually I got myself into physical therapy (because everyone who has had a baby should do pelvic floor physical therapy, but that’s another topic for another day…) and started some more core strengthening and hip mobilizing exercises.

I took my time.

And DANG IT, it was hard. It IS hard.

Here I am, 3 months postpartum, and I’m finally working out more regularly again. And it’s humbling, but I’m taking my time and I’m doing it right. I’ve committed to doing about 60 days of mobility and core strengthening before I move on to the heavy weights. I want to pick them up, but I also want to build a foundation to be the healthiest and fittest physically, mentally, and spiritually that I’ve ever been.

I’m combining dance, yoga, Pilates, bodyweight strength, and low-impact cardio to keep myself encouraged to keep moving forward. And it‘s kicking my butt.

Because “starting over” is hard.

But maybe it’s not really starting over.

I’m not 19 anymore. This time I know what my body needs. And while I may want to jump ahead, to do the more intense cardio that will help me lose bodyfat more quickly, I know that by taking my time to build a strong foundation I will eventually be better than I’ve ever been.

That’s what it’s all about. Little steps every day to become the best we’ve ever been. Little steps, so we can live the FRICKen Good Life (yes, I went there).

I’m starting slow, but I’m starting. And if I can do it, you can too. Whether you’re starting back at square one with me, or you only backtracked a little. Let’s shake it off, allow ourselves to be humble and vulnerable, and get started.

Here. We. Go.

BONUS RESOURCES

Postpartum Motivation
Body Image and Pregnancy
Get Your Body Back After Pregnancy
Try a New Workout