Perfectionism is Holding You Back
/I took a bite of something I said I wasn’t going to eat. I messed up. Today is ruined. I’ll start over tomorrow. Or next week, or next month, or…
Sound familiar?
If you’ve ever tried to change the way you eat, there’s a 99.2% possibility that it does (No, this number is not even remotely scientific. It’s a random number I generated out of my head that seems appropriate taking into consideration the hundreds of people I’ve spoken to and/or worked with. Actually… I may be low-balling here).
Here’s the thing. I’m about to tell you something, and there’s a good chance you’re not going to like it. In fact, by me telling you this, you may decide you don’t like ME anymore and will choose to “break-up” with me. It’s fine, I can take it. Do I want you to like me? Yes. Do I crave appreciation and affirmation? Yes. But is what I’m about to tell you so important that I will endanger our relationship? Yes.
You are not perfect.
There. I said it. (Do you still like me?) You are not perfect. You’re not. You’re never going to be perfect, no matter how hard you try. And here’s the thing that might make you feel better, there’s not a single human-being on this planet who is perfect.
You may not like the fact that you aren’t perfect. But that doesn’t change that fact that you aren’t. You may want to do things as well as you possibly can, but there’s a difference between doing something to the best of your ability and crippling yourself with the drive to be perfect.
I feel comfortable speaking from a place of authority here, because I’ve considered myself a recovering-perfectionist for a while now (I’m also a recovering people-pleaser and clearance rack shopper… but those are stories for another time).
I’ve been in situations where I didn’t want to try something new because I knew I wouldn’t do it well (because WHO in the ACTUAL WORLD thinks that someone should be amazing at everything they try for the first time? It’s bonkers).
I have piles of projects that are in some state of completion because I can’t quite seem to finish them. Finishing them would be like putting some mark of approval on them, right? And how could I approve of something when it still needs to be tweaked just so… Bonkers.
I have over a year’s worth of unfinished articles started on my computer, and yet here it is, over a month since I published my last piece of content. Not every post is going to be life-changing to everyone, and yet instead of sitting down to work something out that may encourage one person to start thinking in a different way, I don’t post.
And those are just a few examples.
As you can see, I’m right with you here. And even though I’ve done a lot of work on my perfectionist problem, it still haunts me.
Side note: I feel like it’s important to note here that there are varying degrees and various reasons why we pick up and internalize the message that we need to be perfect. It’s no secret that I’m a HUGE advocate for therapy and/or counseling and if this is something you really struggle with, I would highly recommend it. No, talking to someone doesn’t make you weak. You have someone to help you care for your teeth, right? Why wouldn’t you have someone for your brain? It just makes sense.
“So Erin, what’s your point?”
I built this whole thing up to remind you that you are not a perfect being. You can’t expect yourself to be perfect when it comes to your health and nutrition journey either. You have to allow yourself wiggle room and give yourself grace.
Grabbed a doughnut for breakfast instead of the eggs, avocado, and sautéed spinach you had planned? Fine. Enjoy the heck out of that doughnut and then get right back on track with the next thing you choose to eat.
That’s right- I said ENJOY that doughnut. If you feel guilty about eating the doughnut, you’re more likely to derail yourself from the healthy lifestyle you’ve chosen to lead. Seriously. So enjoy it.
Didn’t enjoy the doughnut? Well, make a note (either physically or mentally) and don’t eat that doughnut again. Because, if it’s not enjoyable, why bother?
Same thing with your workouts. You can’t expect yourself to be perfect. You’ll miss a day, and that’s okay. So you ended up with a rest day on a day you weren’t planning- fine. Workout on your planned rest day. Or better yet- plan to exercise or move every single day. That way, when rest days happen, they happen and you can be okay with it.
Personally, I make it a priority to find time to move my body at least 30-minutes a day. Sure, there are days I miss, but my goal is to hit at least 28 days a month, which means if a rest day sneaks in unexpected, that’s okay.
Stop expecting yourself to be perfect. It’s never going to happen. As Elsa would say… “Let it Go.” (Is my “toddler mom” showing?)
In fact, if you’ve been stuck in the perfectionist place, I’ll almost guarantee you get better results when you STOP trying to be perfect.
Remember, I’m with you, I’m a recovering perfectionist too. And I’ve learned that the more I feel like I “have” to stick to something 100%, the less likely I am to get results.
I need some flexibility in my diet… because I’m a normal human being (crazy, right?!?). I drink wine and I eat desserts, but I also know which treats are more likely to cause overnight weight gain and bloating that sticks around and which ones will only stay on my hips for 24-hours.
I need some flexibility in my fitness routine. Sometimes life happens. Sometimes you end up at the pediatrician’s office when you weren’t’ expecting it, and sometimes you just need a nap instead.
And I’m not the only one.
It’s amazing how many of my clients have started getting results so much faster when they stop trying to be perfect.
Missed a workout? Fine. Don’t beat yourself up. Get one in the next day.
Ate something off plan? Fine. Make the next thing you eat ON plan and you’re already back on track.
Yes, I’m repeating myself, but this is so important that it bears repeating.
You are not perfect. Stop expecting yourself to be perfect. You are absolutely amazing, but you aren’t perfect. And let’s be honest, that makes you (and me) way more fun and interesting in the long run.
BONUS RESOURCES
13 Reasons Why You’re Not Seeing Results
Get Results without Killing Yourself in the Gym
Slow Down, You Do Have Time
How to Take Back Your Time This Holiday Season