5 Ways to Avoid Stress this Holiday Season
/So… are you getting in the holiday mood yet? Joyful? Cheerful? Merry? Stressed?
Yeah, stressed. The holidays can be amazing, but they can also become a very stressful time of year.
To help you out this holiday season, here are five ways to avoid stress and overwhelm this holiday season.
Make a “To-Done” List
Are you feeling extra overwhelmed at this time of year? If you are, it’s no surprise. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed during the holidays as extra activities fill our calendars and we are pulled a million different directions. Okay, I may be exaggerating a little, but that’s how it feels.
I don’t know about you, but one of the things that really stresses me out is when I feel like I haven’t gotten anything done. I get frustrated and start beating myself up for not accomplishing anything in an entire day.
Sound familiar?
Frustration at accomplishing “nothing” easily happens when lots of little “life things” start adding up. If this is you when you start getting stressed and overwhelmed, try making a “to-done” list. It’s like a to-do list, but the opposite. At the end of the day, give yourself five minutes to write down all the things you did today. Your list might look something like this:
Are any of the things on your list world changing or life alternating? Maybe not. But by writing them all down, you’ll be able to physically see all the things you actually did accomplish that day. The best part? You can write down whatever you want. There are no rules! You can write down everything from making your bed (especially if that’s something that could easily get missed), to cooking dinner, to driving carpool… and beyond. The idea is to help you see that your day wasn’t wasted, and that you did accomplish something.
I’ll be going over breaking down goals soon, to help you add small things to your to-done lists on days when there isn’t enough time for big thing. Watch for that in the next month as we lead into the New Year!
Stick to your Health and Fitness Routine
Speaking of busy, one of the first things to go for many people when there are extra events on their plate is their health and wellness routine. After all, it’s not going to kill you to miss one workout, right? And a quick zip through the drive-thru just this once isn’t going to undo all your hard work.
But once becomes twice, becomes… you get the idea.
No wonder the American’s average a 7-10 pound weight gain over the holiday season. Yikes! That’s no small amount. That’s literally the size of a newborn.
Instead of letting your week run you, take time before your week to figure out if you need to adjust your normal health and fitness routine. Do you need to exercise at a different time? Do you need to have the crockpot going on a specific day? What do you need to do to stay on track?
Check out this article about staying on track with your workouts. Yes, I wrote it a couple years ago. And yes, it says “summer,” but the same things apply.
If you need help managing your time, check out my Time Finding Tool to dial down your time and organize your week.
Manage Family Expectations
Families can be challenging. Families during the holiday can be extra challenging. Especially when you start getting into combined and multiple family situations.
I’m not going to even attempt to try to give you solutions for the plethora of different family arrangements that exist. However, I will tell you the absolute best thing you can do for your own personal sanity is manage the expectations of those around you.
It’s going to look different for each person and each family situation. However, making decisions ahead of time and sticking to your decisions will be beneficial in the long run.
First, if you’re an adult and you’re married you have made the decision to create your own family. That family comes first. Period. I may get some push-back here, but I won’t apologize. Once you’ve made the decision and commitment to your new family, the families that both of you came from take second place.
That being said, all decisions should keep in mind that your family (you, your spouse, and any children you may have) is your number one priority.
So maybe that means that instead of running around town on Thanksgiving attempting to spend time with all of your relatives, you choose one location.
There is NOTHING wrong with that.
You can go visit the other family next year. Or the day after the holiday if it wouldn’t drive you and your family batty to do Thanksgiving two days in a row. It’s your choice.
Is there a possibility that your family will attempt to make you feel guilty about it? Yeah. I’m not going to tell you it’s not going to happen. Especially if you’ve been playing the “people-pleasing” card for years. Your parents, his parents, or both, may try to take you on a drive down guilt trip lane.
But here’s the thing. You aren’t obligated to do anything. That’s right. If you want to fly to Hawaii with your family instead of doing a big holiday dinner, that’s your prerogative.
Now, you and your spouse need to make a solid decision together. But other than that- it’s up to you. So if you decide to drive yourself crazy going to three Thanksgiving dinners, that’s on you sister. If you’re not married, the same things apply. However, you just don’t have another person to stay accountable to.
Here’s what you do:
Make up your mind. If you’re married and/or have children there’s probably someone else who needs to make decisions with you. Take some time to make a decision you both can agree with. You need to support each other in the decision that you make.
Let your families know. I know, I get it. Confrontation is hard. But the sooner you let your families know about your holiday plans, the better. The longer you avoid talking about it, the worse it will be. Just imagine if you were the one hosting the big family party and everyone knew they weren’t going to come, but they hadn’t told you. Not fun.
Follow through with what you said you would do. Don’t fold to pressure. Is your mom or your mother-in-law giving you trouble because they want to see the kids on Christmas? You can celebrate Christmas with them on another day. Make sure both you and your spouse are kind, but stand firm in your decision together.
What it comes down to is this; Let your family know your plans, especially if they are expecting you to be someplace on a specific day. The sooner, the better.
Don’t Wait Until the Last Minute (Plan Ahead)
Call me crazy, but the easiest way to avoid stress is to plan ahead. And this is especially true during the holidays.
Let’s be honest. No one wants to shop for Christmas presents on December 23rd. Heck, I dread going into most malls or shopping plazas starting halfway through November, let alone the month of December! True, you can always shop for gifts online, but that takes a little planning as well. All the delivery services are busy during the holidays, you know that. By planning ahead you don’t have to worry about the longer wait time for delivery.
If you do Christmas gifts, take some time now to make a list of the gifts you need to purchase. Then, between now and the end of November start figuring out what you’re going to buy, and start buying. Bonus! Cyber Monday is a GREAT time to get your shopping done and off your to-do list. Also, lots of stores are offering their Black Friday sales online, so you don’t even have to go into the stores which will save you the time of parking, wading through people, and standing in line. Save time and money? Win-win. If you purchase gifts for other holidays during this season, adjust your date accordingly.
I’ll help you get started. Here are some of the gifts I purchase over the holiday season;
Family
Friends
Clients (coworkers)
Holiday parties (i.e. book club Secret Santa)
Stocking stuffers
Another area that will help with planning ahead is the holiday itself. Are you hosting the holiday? If so, there are lots of things you can think about ahead of time to help manage overwhelm around the actual event. How many people are coming? Are you providing the entire meal or are people bringing dishes? What are they bringing? Where will people sit? Do you have what you need to serve the meal? What will people eat on/with? I’ll be doing another post on preparing to host a holiday or family get-together soon, but the moral of the story is: the more you can plan in advance, the better.
If you’re not hosting a holiday event, what is your role in the holiday? Do you need to bring a dish of some sorts? If so, what does the host want you to bring? I realize it sounds like I’m beating a dead horse (who even came UP with that saying?), but planning ahead will make your life a lot easier. Plus, if you know the days leading up to said event (Family holiday, book club, Friendsgiving, etc.) are going to be crazy, you could always offer to bring the wine (or other beverages), or some cheese and crackers. If you know you’re going to be busy, girl, claim the easy things before someone else does!
Moral of the story? Plan ahead. It only takes a little time, but the payoff is SO worth it.
Rest/Self-care
When life gets busy, the first person I tend to stop taking care of is myself. This is silly, and I know that. And I’ve been working on this problem for years. I’m much better at it, and luckily I have a husband who helps keep me accountable (he actually will tell me to book a massage or go get my nails done. Am I lucky or what?)
However, it shouldn’t be someone else’s job to remind us to take care of ourselves when life gets hectic and overwhelming. We’re adults, and this is something we know we need to do. After all, self-care is NOT selfish. I know I don’t need to remind you about the oxygen mask, right? You know, how you’re supposed to put your own mask on first? After all, how are you supposed to take care of the people you love if you are passed out on the floor?
Over the holidays, don’t forget to take some time for yourself. It doesn’t have to be long or expensive, you just need to do it. Here are some ideas:
Don’t think you have enough time? You do, I promise. If you need help finding that time, check out my Time Finding Tool to help you find more time in your week.
These five things aren’t physically hard to do when it comes right down to it. But they may take some mental shifts. But you’ve got this. I believe in you. And I know if you take some time to make a plan and follow through with this five tips you’ll have a happier, healthier, less-stressful holiday season.
Happy Holidays!
BONUS RESOURCES
Time Finding Tool
5 Ways to Stay on Track with your Workouts
11 Articles to Help you Maintain Results this Holiday Season
Homemade Natural Bath Bomb Recipe