Know your Type to Improve your Relationships

Have you heard about the Enneagram?  Do you know your type?

The first time I heard the word Enneagram was on a podcast sometime late 2017 or early 2018. When I really think about it, it almost surprises me that I hadn’t heard about it sooner.  It’s a personality typing system where you “choose” the type you most identify with rather than be assigned a type by taking quizzes or tests.  

I’ll be honest, I love this stuff. I love knowing it about me, and I love knowing it about all the people around me.  I want to know everything from your Love Language (mine are words of affirmation and quality time) to your Myers-Briggs (ENFJ with my E right on the E/I line), to your Tendency (Upholder with some Obliger) to which Disney Princess you are (Belle).

By knowing these things about myself, I can use my positive traits to my advantage and by knowing the negative traits I tend to present, I can do my best to avoid them. Or, at least apologize for them. Knowing personality traits and types of the people around me I am better able to show my love and appreciation. Your Love Language is words of affirmation too? Great. I’ll spend extra time to write a thoughtful card. More extroverted than me? Okay, I will get dressed up and go to that big party with you. Not every weekend, but I’ll do it; even though curling up on the sofa for a quiet night sounds like a little slice of heaven.

 So when I started hearing people talk about the Enneagram, I had to know a little more.  Until I realized that this particular personality typing was going to take a lot of work on my part. The little research I did initially made me realize that this was a rabbit hole. And I wasn’t ready to go down it… yet. I had a wedding to plan, a house to fix up and move into, and a business to run.  But I told myself that I would take a peak down that rabbit hole in 2019.

Well, it’s 2019, and I went down that rabbit hole. And let me tell you, it is a good thing I waited.  I started reading a little about the 9 types, found a podcast to binge-listen to, and have a list of suggested books that I am ready to devour.

No, I don’t know my type yet. I just started this journey 6 days ago, and I have a feeling that this isn’t going to be as simple as I originally thought. But I’ll be honest, I’m excited and I’m looking forward to this research project of sorts.

So why am I sharing this with you?

If there is one thing I have learned from training and coaching it is that our relationships directly relate to our overall wellness. Our relationships with others; friends, family, coworkers, etc. But also our relationship with ourselves. So many of us have worked hard to develop healthy relationships with the people around us, yet we ignore the relationship with have with ourselves.

This year, I challenge you to take time to nurture your relationship with yourself.  Taking time to study learn more about yourself and accepting it all positive and negative, is a great way to start. Maybe you already have a pretty good relationship, that’s great! But for many of us, it may be difficult work. Either way, the work will be worth it.  Improve your relationship with yourself (mind, body, spirit) and you’ll be able to improve your relationships with the people around you.  I guarantee it*.

What are you going to do this year to nurture your relationship with yourself?

*Money back guarantee. You get back exactly what you paid for this article ;)  

FYI: Here are some of the resources that I’ve used/am using/plan on using:

The Enneagram Journey Podcast

The Road Back to You Book

The Sacred Enneagram Book

The Enneagram Institute Website