Giving Up Negative Self-Talk
/I have a confession to make.
The other day I looked in the mirror and I made a face at myself. And it wasn’t a nice face. I don’t feel good making this confession, but I have to be honest with you, because it’s true. And it happens more than I’d like to admit.
I make ugly faces at the image looking back at me. I pull on my clothes, and I complain about some or other part of my body. Sometimes I say things out loud, but 9 times out of 10 the voice is only my head. Sometimes when I say these things out loud I’m overheard. But again, 9 times out of 10 the only person who “hears” is me.
Goodness, I’ve just started writing, and I already have a vulnerability hangover. But this is important, and we need to talk about it.
Self-Talk. Specifically, negative self-talk. Even more specifically, negative self-talk about our bodies.
We need to talk about it. I want to talk about it, but I want you to know that I talk about this from a place where I don’t have it figured out all of the time. I struggle as well.
Now, I have to give myself credit where credit is due. Even with everything that I’ve just told you, I’m better than I used to be. Ten, maybe twenty times better than I used to be. Which kinda makes me sad when think about it.
If I’m where I am now, in a place where I still have lots of room for improvement, who was that girl who was twenty times worse than current me? I start to feel bad for her. But then I catch myself and remember she’s the one who got me to where I am now. So instead of feeling bad, I have to feel a little proud. Proud of the fact that even with all that negative self-talk, I’ve been able to work on turning it around.
And it is work, I promise you that. And it’s not easy.
We could talk about different aspects of negative self-talk for hours. But I’m not going to do that (today). This is just one blog, and one confession.
This confession and this realization is what made me decide to “give up” negative self-talk for Lent.
Did you just laugh? Because I did. It’s not that easy, and you and I both know that. However, I am committing to becoming more fully aware when I talk to myself negatively. Not only will I notice it, but I will actively combat the negative thought with a positive one. No matter how hard it is for me to come up with one at the time.
For example. Every time I catch myself thinking, “My arms are huge,” I will remind myself of how strong I’ve been continuing to get recently, and how much easier things like push-ups are for me now than they were even 6 months ago. If I notice the thought, “Ugh, hello thunder thighs,” I will remind myself that I have the ability to push myself through not one, but two hours of lower-body focused classes back to back while teaching. And if all else fails and I can’t think of something to combat the negative comment(s) my inner mean girl makes, I’ll remind myself of the Lenten season, and the love that it represents.
But there’s more (wait, wait… that’s not all…)
Not only am I committing to catching my negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones, but I’m also committing to, get this, accepting compliments.
**gasp**
Ugh. Yes, this is something that I’ve already gotten better with in many areas of my life. Unfortunately, body image is not one of those acres.
Instead of blowing off positive and uplifting comments, I will say thank you, and store that compliment in my memory bank to use as proof to my “mean girl” who says the unkind things.
It’s funny. As I write this, I realize that this may come as a complete shock to some of you. Maybe you don’t experience any (or very little) negative self-talk. Or maybe, you’re surprised that I do. But for the rest of you, I want you to know that you are not alone. And not only that, but it can, and will get better. You just have to actively make an effort to make it better.
Which is what I’m doing. And why I’m recommitting this Lenten season to giving-up speaking to myself in self-deprecating and negative ways. And when I do (because as much as I wish it would, it doesn’t go away overnight), I commit to combating the negative thought with a positive one.
This isn’t going to be easy, but it is going to be possible. And I encourage you to join me in this challenge. You can do this. We can do this.
Is there a negative comment you “hear” over and over again? What are you going to tell yourself the next time it comes up?